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Happy Earth Day 2012!

Here’s how to contribute:

  1. Reduce Obliterate Emissions of Greenhouse Gases: They alter habitats irreversibly. Think of the melting ice and the retreating polar bears.
      • Don’t use fires
      • Don’t use electricity (use your creativity for heating)
      • Shut down factories (just an extra emphasis of the above)
      • Don’t start a war: Wars lead to increases in manufacturing.
      • Kill a few hundred million heads of livestock: Do you know just how much methane they create?
      • No transportation by automobile, airplane, train, or ship.
  2. Reduce Population
      • Humans: As environmentalists say, we’re the biggest cause of all terra-destruction
        • Don’t help the starving: Are you kidding me? Support more environmental footprints, not to mention mouths?!
        • Don’t have sex (same reaction as above)
        • Don’t start a war: All wars’ve gotta end sometime and when they do, you can bet people’ll start makin’ babies like crazy.
        • Go on killing streaks: Homicide, suicide, whatever, just as long as the population decreases.
      • Animals:
        • Kill a few hundred million heads of livestock: Just think of all the food and space they need. All the habitats they destroy.
        • Breed at a bare minimum (see above)
        • Hunt, but not to excess
      • Plants:
        • Stop clearing land: The rainforests and other habitats sorely need it!
        • Don’t grow crops: To grow crops, you need land. To get land you need to clear it. To clear it, you destroy habitats.
  3. Clean the Planet
      • Don’t litter. Period.
      • No herbicides, pesticides, sprays.

Who said you could save the Earth without sacrifice?

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About sseuja

Aspiring biochemist, programming master, social activist, polyglot, ....

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